the PAY ATTENTION blog

this blog is by Jennalise

Nov 12, 2010 4:02pm

One of the Guys: A Tragedy

WTFdoods.tumblr.com

DO IT!

notblogging:

I wrote this over at WTFdoods, a new roast-blog that makes fun of doods in various capacities.

Click through to enjoy the whole piece, and remember: Marie Claire must be stopped!

One of the Guys: A Tragedy

A few weeks ago, my trusty co-writer and I came across this infuriating piece on Marie Claire’s website: 6 Ways to be One of the Guys, a male writer’s observations on the appeal behind women who “act like one of the guys”. It would be one thing to merely identify and ponder why this behavior is attractive – that would be totally understandable, although still annoying. But this patronizing “piece” actually seeks to instruct desperate women about utilizing these “techniques” to snag a boyfriend.

 

Read More

Nov 10, 2010 11:41am

I looked up Zombies on Wikipedia and now I’m terrified

According to the tenets of Vodou, a dead person can be revived by a bokor, or sorcerer. Zombies remain under the control of the bokor since they have no will of their own…In 1937, while researching folklore in Haiti, Zora Neale Hurston encountered the case of a woman who appeared in a village, and a family claimed she was Felicia Felix-Mentor, a relative who had died and been buried in 1907 at the age of 29. Hurston pursued rumors that the affected persons were given powerful psychoactive drug, but she was unable to locate individuals willing to offer much information. She wrote:

What is more, if science ever gets to the bottom of Voodoo in Haiti and Africa, it will be found that some important medical secrets, still unknown to medical science, give it its power, rather than gestures of ceremony.[3]

Several decades later, Wade Davis, a Harvard ethnobotanist, presented a pharmacological case for zombies in two books, The Serpent and the Rainbow (1985) and Passage of Darkness: The Ethnobiology of the Haitian Zombie (1988). Davis traveled to Haiti in 1982 and, as a result of his investigations, claimed that a living person can be turned into a zombie by two special powders being entered into the blood stream (usually via a wound). The first, coup de poudre (French: ‘powder strike’), includes tetrodotoxin (TTX), a powerful and frequently fatal neurotoxin found in the flesh of the pufferfish (order Tetraodontidae). The second powder consists of dissociative drugs such as datura. Together, these powders were said to induce a death-like state in which the victim’s will would be entirely subjected to that of the bokor.

Nov 8, 2010 2:25pm

A list of dating website cliches

- having a username with “brooklyn” or “nyc” in it

- having a username that expresses how much you hate hipsters

- starting a message with “i’m not too good at these things but __”

- listing your cool smartphone as one of the things you can’t live without

- making it known that you “don’t really watch TV” or “don’t own a TV” in your profile

- making it known that grammar is important to you (ugh, this one’s the worst, shut up)

- talking about your bike in your profile

- calling yourself a “nerd” or a “dork”

Nov 8, 2010 2:23pm
Sep 15, 2010 2:24pm
best thing I’ve seen all day.  Via ONTD

best thing I’ve seen all day.  Via ONTD

Aug 10, 2010 1:59pm
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

coketalk:

Single Ladies, Sara Bareilles (Live Beyonce Cover)

This song makes me want to sit in the shade of a white-washed gazebo wearing a yellow sundress while waiting for a man in a seersucker suit to bring me another mint julep.

fucking great!

Jul 31, 2010 10:04am
Obviously everyone has seen this video by now but I had to point out this comment:

tomanol8 5 hours ago

omg the way they speak is hilarious :) just like ive seen in the movies. is this real?

if it is i hope the rapist gets in jail

Feb 2, 2010 3:22pm

ADDENDUM

I would watch a show that features Snooki and J-Woww, and no one else.

Feb 2, 2010 3:21pm

My Problem With Jersey Shore

Did I watch every single episode of Jersey Shore season 1? Yes. Did I laugh, like a lot? Yes.

Well, now I’m tired of it.  I don’t care anymore and I’m tired of it.  Because they are making money, and that pisses me off.  I didn’t watch Jersey Shore to look up to the guidos and admire them, I watched it to laugh at them and make fun of them because they are ridiculous and dumb and because they wear crazy things.  But now, they get $50,000 every time they show up at a club, or something like that, and I don’t even make that much money in a year, so who’s laughing now?

I don’t like it one bit.  And I don’t want to watch Season 2.

Aug 12, 2009 9:30pm
thank god she was not arrested
interweber:
via HUSTLEHUSTLE

thank god she was not arrested

interweber:

via HUSTLEHUSTLE
Jun 22, 2009 4:37pm

Dear Paul,

  • Paul: which rhnj kid are you
  • let's make a quiz
  • Paul: what is your career ambition:
  • a) strip club/car wash
  • b) being a cosmetologist
  • c) being in a movie w/ the rock
  • d) getting a white jeep for passing summer school
  • me: you have a disease
Jun 22, 2009 10:14am
Jun 12, 2009 1:26am

True Life: This is a Tumbl

  • Taking a trip down memory lane and plotting the course for future lane Jennalise and I discussed the MTV news/docs series "True Life." While this show has tackled serious subjects like not liking the size of one's breasts or being a bitch, we recalled some of the standouts and plotted for future episodes. This kind of long, but hopefully worth it.
  • jennalise: "I'm an Urban Cheerleader" (10-2-2003)
  • me: aka black
  • jennalise: True Life: I'm black
  • jennalise: i have a list i'm making
  • me: "I Am Driving While Black"
  • me: that was one
  • jennalise: thats amazing
  • me: I Live in a Brothel: i remember that one
  • me: this may be the most famous one: I'm on Ecstasy
  • jennalise: yeah, i think i saw that
  • me: with the holes in the brain
  • me: I'm a High School Freshman
  • me: um...I Have Acne
  • me: omg: I'm Deaf
  • jennalise: there hasn't been an I'm Blind...
  • me: you just didnt see it
  • me: OH SNAP
  • jennalise: snap
  • me: I Stutter
  • me: what: I'm Moving to Vegas
  • me: oh ok: I'm a Middle School Football Champion
  • me: lol: I Live to Ride
  • jennalise: i cant believe all these happened
  • jennalise: like how can this be interesting for an hour
  • me: i have some
  • jennalise: and why are there so many about ppl not liking their breasts
  • me: true life: i'm a drag queen
  • jennalise: i have 6 so far
  • me: true life: i'm a drag racer
  • me: true life: i'm a drag
  • jennalise: true life: i drag things everywhere i go
  • me: true life: i'm a schlepper
  • me: true life: i have a crush on a family member
  • jennalise: incest, good
  • jennalise: its weird
  • me: true life: i'm a youtube star
  • jennalise: you'd think after all those seasons they'd have covered pretty much everything
  • me: well if they did the breast ones
  • jennalise: there's something about internet fame already
  • me: true life: my dick is small
  • jennalise: true
  • me: true life: my dick is too big
  • jennalise: hahaha
  • jennalise: true life: i don't like my dick
  • me: true life: i don't like getting blowjobs
  • me: true life: i don't like giving blowjobs
  • me: true life: i love giving blowjobs
  • me: true life: i love getting blowjobs
  • jennalise: there's no true life i'm a virgin
  • me: yeah - middle school wrestling champion
  • jennalise: true life: i live in the woods
  • me: same thing
  • me: true life: i live in a cave
  • jennalise: hahahaha
  • me: true live: i live in a car
  • jennalise: i'm dying
  • me: true life: i live at the office
  • me: true life: i don't want to grow up
  • jennalise: true life: i have diarrhea
  • me: lol ok
  • jennalise: i'm a freeloader
  • me: true life: i came out of the closet as gay but im in the closet for being straight, oops
  • jennalise: tl: i hunt pigeons
  • jennalise: hahahhahaah
  • jennalise: this is so fun
  • me: true life: i get recognized from being on another episode of true life
  • jennalise: HAHAHA
  • me: tl: i go through 10 tampons a day
  • me: tl: i always make chains out of paper clips
  • jennalise: tl: i eat snow
  • me: tl: i'm covering up a murder
  • jennalise.vescovo: tl: i'm dead
  • me: no
  • me: TD: i'm dead
  • jennalise: tl: i was murdered
  • jennalise: tl: i'm a caged animal
  • me: tl: i don't know how to use a gps
  • jennalise: tl: i'm a raver
  • jennalise: hahaha
  • me: tl: i collect glowsticks
  • me: tl: i come up w/ tl topics @ work
  • jennalise: i'm a white rapper
  • me: tl: my screenname is from 6th grade
  • jennalise: tl: my cell phone is from like 1997
  • me: the "like" is key
  • jennalise: yes
  • jennalise: tl: i have 25 cats
  • me: tl: i wear diapers but i'm older than 3
  • jennalise: hahaha
  • jennalise: i cant stop cracking up
  • me: tl: i prefer whiteboards to chalkboards
  • me: tl: i'm a girl with a teeny weenie
  • jennalise: tl: i cant orgasm
  • me: aww
  • me: tl: i can't grow facial hair
  • me: tl: i work @ trader joes
  • jennalise: hahahaha
  • me: tl: i'm still rooting for mccain
  • me: tl: i can't get on a reality series so this is the next best thing
  • jennalise: tl: i'm an obama fanatic
  • me: tl: i have bumper stickers
  • jennalise: tl: i have controversial bumper stickers
  • me: tl: my child is a monroe middle school honor student
  • me: tl: i'm not sure if i should get a blu-ray player
  • me: tl: i go by my first and middle name
  • me : tl: i'm ryan seacrest
  • me: tl: my kids are kinda lame
  • jennalise: tl: i'm a bus driver
  • me: tl: i take the bus
  • me: tl: my number never gets called at the deli
  • jennalise: tl: i can't pass my road test
  • me: tl: i work for diddy (!!!!!!!!!!!)
  • jennalise: haha
  • me: tl: i still wear jnco
  • me: tl: i just learned what fubu stands for
  • jennalise: hahahahhaa
  • jennalise: tl: my mom still buys my clothes
  • me: tl: im a bar mitzvah dj
  • me: tl: im a bar mitzvah dancer
  • jennalise: tl: i'm jewish
  • jennalise: hahaha
  • me: tl: im a lactard
  • jennalise: tl: i'm lactose intolerant
  • me: tl: i'm intolerant of beliefs that don't match my own
  • jennalise: tl: i'm a baby
  • me: tl: i have a baby fetish
  • jennalise: tl: i'm a total cunt
  • me: tl: food gets stuck in my braces
  • me: tl: i know that tupac is alive
  • me: tl: im in the witness protection program (lol)
  • me: tl: everyone always thinks im japanese but im actually korean
  • me: tl: i might be possessed
  • me: tl: i only watch sequels
  • me: tl: i live in wyoming, jealous?
  • jennalise: hahahaha
  • me: tl: i type lol even when im not laughing
  • LATER
  • me: u should get someone to sub for u at babysitting
  • me: jill could be a GREAT person to be tight w/
  • jennalise: i dont rly have the energy for jill
  • jennalise: i wish i did
  • me: like zang toi could make clothes for you prob
  • jennalise: i would just be a sack of shit
  • me: true life: i dont have enough energy for jill zarin
May 11, 2009 6:20pm
I went there with Robert to play darts and a drunk forty five year old woman asked him to buy her a drink and said that she would give him a hug if he did. Then her boyfriend came out of the bathroom and they frenched. When they stopped frenching, she asked Robert where her drink was. - A yelp.com review for Van Gogh’s Radio Lounge in Greenpoint.
Apr 16, 2009 4:07pm
Hey, anyone scamming some stupid Hipster has my sympathy - and there’s no doubt Vice Magazine is the cradle of moronic hipsterism. I don’t even think she should be made accountable for that she did. After all, Hipsters like “non-mainstream” deeds and conduct like nothing else, so they should treat her like the queen or something. Hey, if one Hipster actually was scammed, what bad can happen anyway - buy one scarf less, or let the beard grow a little longer than usual? Maybe buy 1 or 2 european minimal techno vinyls less that month. - Some genius who commented on the NY Observer article about the Hipster Grifter.
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